Ready To Really Overcome Resistance?
You’re a solopreneur. You hired this great marketing expert to help you create a marketing plan designed to increase your visibility and build your business. You enjoyed the back and forth collaboration, coming up with concrete steps to take and yet you haven’t even started a single step. You’ve hit a wall. You feel stuck.
“You’re just in resistance” says your colleague, telling you something you heard the first fifty times you tried marketing yourself. You know it’s true and it feels awful. You’re supposed to just overcome it, power through it and get to the other side, right. Except that hasn’t worked. It feels like pushing a huge boulder uphill rather than being in the zone. This pushing feels like “I can’t do this” so you start telling yourself you can’t do it.
What if it’s not “I can’t do this” and instead it’s “I don’t let myself do this.”
Sound radical? In a way it is because we are challenging the initial belief of “I can’t.” Okay, so let’s keep going here. Why wouldn’t you let yourself do something that you want to do? You want to grow your business, right? Back to resistance.
What does “in resistance” actually mean? “To resist” means to oppose, i.e. “I don’t want that.” When you experience resistance, something inside you is putting the brakes on.
It’s like feeling “yes, I want to do this” and “no, I don’t want to do this” at the same time. There’s tension pulling in two different directions at the same time so you feel stuck in an internal tug of war where there’s no winner.
“I don’t let myself do this” is the “no.” So let’s explore the “no.” What exactly are you saying “no” to? Would you rather avoid attention? Does success feel uncomfortable? Does doing something for your own benefit feel uncomfortable? Maybe the plan you created just feels like too much all at once and you just need to go slower. Those are just a few of many possibilities.
The Truth: Uncover and Honor Your “No”
The truth is once you uncover and honor the “no,” the resistance and tension often dissolve organically so you take action with greater ease. More importantly, your relationship with yourself remains intact because you have honored your own “no.” You’ve acknowledged the whole story, the “yes” and the “no” rather than ignoring your “no.”
Powering through resistance is like running your own unconscious stop sign. When we make a habit of that, we bury our deeper knowing of what we want and what’s best for us.
So, try this on. Recall a time recently when you were in resistance. Did you want something and you felt stuck? Was there a deeper “no” inside the stuck feeling? Notice what comes up now. Are you surprised?
Want some help with this? Let’s talk