Put The Past In Its Place

A really important part of how I help you change your life is by working in present time.  Why do I do that?  You can’t heal the past.   The past is gone.  Over. Period. There’s no going back.  You can only change your relationship to the past and get curious about what feels unfinished.  Is there emotion, longing, unspoken words?  This puts the past in its place.

If the past is gone, why does it matter?  Can’t we just get over it?  The past matters because our the imprints from the past shape our behavior in the present.  If you experienced chronic stress, abuse or neglect as children, you survived that by developing patterns and habits like pleasing, saying “yes” to everything, or trying to do everything yourself.  Those patterns and habits worked in that childhood situation.  You needed them to survive.  Those patterns no longer work now and that’s where the juice is. Those patterns prevent you from creating the success & fulfillment you crave. I can help you makes those patterns conscious and show you exactly where you can step into those patterns in order to create the outcome you want.  You change by exploring what happens inside you as you go towards your heart’s desire here and now in this time zone, not the past.  This exploration improves the choices you make in the present because you have power and choice in the present.

You Were Trapped – You Aren’t Trapped Now

In other ways of working you may have been invited to tell your childhood story in detail, often the painful parts.  Often when we do this, we feel like we are back in that old situation where we felt overwhelmed and powerless to change what was happening to us and around us.  When we tell our story, it can feel like we are 5 years old again, cowering from that scary father or trying to please that unavailable mother when now we are full grown adults.  Has that ever happened for you?

When you experience that old overwhelm and sense of powerlessness, your brain fires those old neural networks that affirm that old powerlessness.  But the good news is that you as an adult are no longer powerless.  The work I do shows you exactly where you get into this negative loop of powerlessness and where you can shift your perception.

We Start With The Present

So how do I work in instead?  In every session we start with you setting an intention for what you want for yourself in our time together.  You set this intention based on what you want now in your life, not based on what happened a long time ago.  Here and now, a place where you can make new choices.

Take a moment right now and consider what you most want for yourself at this point in your life.  Do you want greater ease in your work life or in a relationship?  How about confidence in expressing yourself?  Notice what happens in your body when you take the time to name what you want for yourself.  If it’s a good feeling, name the sensation to yourself and invite it to spread.  Now, consider when in the last week or so you struggled in this territory.  That’s your starting point, connecting with yourself.  That’s where the change begins.

Want help with this?  Let’s talk.