How We Begin Together
I want to share a bit about what happens when you decide to work with me. The first question I ask you in every session is “What do you want most for yourself today?” I ask you this so you can set an intention for yourself during our time together. You might want to feel more ease or less anxious. You might want healthy relationships or to feel more joy and fulfillment in your life. Once you name what you want, I will lead you through a process that helps you get even clearer and deeper about what you mean. This will set the intention for your session.
Why Set An Intention?
By identifying your intention, together we decide how we will focus our time and what you hope to have happen for yourself. The intention gives us a theme and direction for the session. Otherwise, a session can lack direction and purpose if we just sit down and talk about something or many different things. In an aimless session something helpful might happen or it might not. While you are setting the intention, it often becomes clearer what you most want for yourself as I ask clarifying questions. You may be surprised by how you answer simple questions like “what do you mean by ease?” We move from a general intention to a more specific intention and there is always room to change it. During the session when I notice you feeling pulled towards something different than what we established as the initial intention, I will reflect that and ask you if you want to change your intention. If you were to imagine yourself beginning a session with me, what would you most want for yourself?
Intentions: A Few More Reasons
Here’s another reason to set an intention. When you choose our direction, you feel a sense of ownership and empowerment over where we go and that really matters to me. This supports your sense of “I can” in your life, that ability to take action on your own behalf to create something you want or prevent something you don’t want. This step creates a different structure inside the client/coach relationship, erasing the
notion that I know in any way what’s best for you, where to start or what you need. I don’t. You’re the expert on you. As a facilitator, I provide the space for you to learn deeply about yourself and create the shifts you want.
Additionally, setting an intention keeps us working in present time, the here and now where you have choice and personal power. When you work with what you want now, that may lead to something historical, such that you realize how something from the past affects what you want now. This process is really different than telling a bunch of old, musty stories from a childhood where you certainly did not have the power and choices available to you that you have as an adult. You can’t change the past. You can only respond to the present. The past belongs in the past.
Make It A Practice
Sometimes clients will take this practice of intention setting into their personal life even as a daily practice. I have a little dry erase board I use for this. I invite you to consider that possibility right now. What intention might you set for yourself in terms of something you want or would like to understand better about yourself? Why is this intention important to you and how might your life change? When you do this, you
make yourself a priority. Take a step right now towards what you most want for yourself.
Setting An Intention -Part 2
In part 2 of this conversation I will discuss why an intention focuses on an exploration of something specific rather than improving a symptom. Stay tuned for more. In the meantime please consider downloading my free e-Book to get more of a taste of my approach.