You might be wondering what I do to help you overcome limiting beliefs and patterns. Over the next few blog posts I will share some of the key pieces with you about how I work. In the first couple of posts I will discuss the process of setting a contract. Next I will talk about the initial exploration and the role of curiosity in our work together. Let’s go.
What Do You Most Want For Yourself?
The first question I ask in every session is “What do you want most for yourself today?” We call this process at the beginning of a session contracting. I support you in setting an intention for what you want for yourself. You and I are establishing a contract, an agreement, of how we will focus our time and what you hope to have happen for yourself. We can always revisit the contract during a session. For instance, maybe you want to explore what’s in the way of feeling more joy in your life. In the initial exploration, you might feel a nagging pull towards exploring your ambivalence about a specific relationship in your life. During your initial exploration of your contract, it often becomes clearer what you most want to work with, what feels most alive for you and what you want most for yourself. When I notice you feeling pulled towards something different than what we established as the initial contract, I will reflect that and ask you if you want to change the contract. Take a moment and ask yourself right now what your contract might be if you have a session with me.
Our contract gives us direction and gives me an idea of what matters most to you at this point in time. In sessions with me you choose the specific territory. Otherwise, a session can lack direction and purpose if we just sit down and talk aimlessly about something or many different things. In an aimless session something helpful might happen or might not.
By establishing a clear contract, you feel a sense of ownership and agency, meaning your ability to take action on your own behalf to create something you want or prevent something you don’t want. You experience the feeling and satisfaction of taking action towards something you want in your life. This step creates a different structure inside the client/practitioner relationship, erasing the notion that I know in any way what’s best for you or where to start. I don’t . You’re the expert on you. As a facilitator, I provide the space for you to learn deeply about yourself and create the shifts you want.
Another reason we contract is that this process keeps us working in present time. We work with something in the here and now that may lead to something historical rather than you telling a bunch of stories about what happened in the past. The contract keeps you focused on the here and now, a place where you have way more options and choices than in that earlier time and place of those old stories.
Make It Personal
Sometimes clients will take this practice of contracting into their personal life and consider how they might benefit from this sort of intention setting as a personal practice. I invite you to consider that possibility right now. What intention might you set for yourself in terms of something you would like to understand better about yourself? Why is it important to you and how might your life change? Take a step right now towards what you most want for yourself.
Setting A Contract-Part 2
In part 2 of this conversation I will discuss why a contract focuses on an exploration of something specific rather than improving a symptom. Stay tuned for more. In the meantime please consider downloading my free e-Book to get more of a taste of my approach.